Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Let's talk about bad words (again)

At the moment, Allison is getting a kick out of saying the word "butt".

"Look at my butt!"

"You can see my butt!"

"In the bathtub, I cleaned my butt!"

Seriously, it's like it's the funniest thing on the planet for this little girl. So, I sat her down and had a conversation about using the word "butt". I told her it was fine at home. She thinks it's funny, so I said she can talk about ~her~ butt all she wants. She can talk about my butt, daddy's butt and her sister's butt until she's blue in the face. But because it is one of her private places, we ~only~ talk about it at HOME. We don't talk about butts or vaginas or penis with our friends or with our teachers or with anyone else outside of just us. She seemed to understand and be completely okay with it. I'm sure she'll giggle and talk about it with her friends, but she knows it's not allowed. She knows if I catch her, she'll be in trouble.

And then she called Ella a "butthead". So I explained the difference between talking about a butt and calling someone a butt. So that's been established too. I'm sure there will be more talk about it, but at least we're starting the conversations.

This all got me thinking. What words do I ~not~ want her to say at all? What are the "bad words"? I've got the obvious ones down, but there are a few iffies.

~ Damn. (and all alternatives.) I didn't think this was bad, but thinking about it more than 2 seconds, I definitely don't want her saying it. Darn is the better choice.

~ Stupid. I never thought this was bad, but it's one of those words I wouldn't want her calling someone. So it'll be allowed, but not as a "name caller". In fact, I'm ~very against~ name calling in any negative way.

~ Jerk. I'm okay with it, Tom thinks it's borderline.

~ Retard. Totally ~not~ okay with it. In any manner. I think this is such a terrible thing to call someone and is completely offensive. This one entered my "no list" when we had a brush with a Downs Syndrome scare with the pregnancy with Allison. In doing all the research about Downs, I read how disrespectful it is to use. And I've noticed how often people use it. Ugh. It's just as bad as the "n word" if you ask me.

~ Moron. I don't think of this at all in the same category as "retard".

~ Cocksucker. Tom is okay with it. Me? Not so much.

~ Jesus/God/Jesus Christ used in any other form than speaking about the entity. Although we are not religious, we are respectful.

~ Poop. Tom thinks it's not bad, neither do I.

~ Crap. Tom thinks it's bad. I don't. But funny he thinks poop ~isn't~ a bad word. In fact, he just told me Crap and Shit are the same word. heh. He just compared poop, crap and shit to penis, dick and cock.

Any thoughts/comments? What are the borderline bad words for you?


Misty Dawn said...

I def agree on the cocksucker, what is Tom thinking?? LOL I think I would fall out if a little girl (as cute as the both of yours) had that word come out of their mouth.

areyoukiddingme said...

My sister's girls are not allowed to say butt at all. They talk about hinies (I don't have any clue how to spell that), mostly. I think that is odd, but then I also think my sister is odd. She thinks the same thing about me.

I hope that my daughter will not engage in name calling, but her father has not yet learned to moderate his commentary. I fear she will be using the f word by age 3. She has not repeated it (and she repeats everything), so I think she has inferred that it is not to be used lightly.

She has started to say "shut up" which I don't care for. I occasionally call other drivers idiots, which she has repeated. I'd rather she didn't, but I prefer idiot to moron or retard (it just seems a little less mean to me). I also say "crap" all the time and have recently gone with "shoot" and she repeats both. I'm OK with those.

I'd prefer that she never hears the word cocksucker, but, as I said, Daddy has not learned to moderate his language yet, so she probably already has heard it.

Kaci said...

I haven't put much thought into it, but I remember a time I said "crap" and Matthew repeated it. It sounded awful coming out of his mouth, so I think it's on my "no" list. That's the worst word he's repeated so far, and definitely not the worst he's heard me say.

ssbean said...

I come from a very conservative grandmother that did a lot of my raising. But, on the flip side, my very liberal (in this case), mother had a lot to do my raising too. So, I'm borderline, I think I lean more towards my mom's ways. I get carried away with some of my choice of words. Here's what I think, and for a child. Butt-I think is ok, my grandma only believed in saying "bucket." Whatever, I'm not against saying butt. However, I agree you don't want your little child going out of the house talking about butts to everybody. Fart-My grandma insisted on pooter toot...again whatever. No big deal in my opinion. Damn-Not fond of it but darn is ok, I think. In other words, I will try not to say damn around my young ones, but I can't guarantee I wont use the alternative...darn. Stupid-Okay word, but NEVER in name calling. It's degrading and I'm against it. Jerk- Borderline, but will probably be ok. Retard- BIG time no. My aunt is mentally challenged and while my mom was liberal with her words, this was the one word that I could never say. I would never say, I'm completely against that word being used so lightly and as insults. Moron- I think this is same as jerk. But idiot is a better choice. Cocksucker-Absolutely not. Jesus/God/Jesus Christ- We are religious/Christians so obviously this one is out of the question. Poop- Yuck, it's ok when your actually talking about poop. But to say, "oh poop" Nah. I'm too visual and poop is gross. Crap- I would actually my rather my child say this when not talking about poop. In my opinion, shit is a big no as well.

Sarah R said...

LOL, Allison is so funny!

Glad you gave her the 411--better to start early. It kind-of grates on my ears to hear 6-7 year old kids talking like they are straight out of the trailer park.

When I was little, I thought the toilet plunger was called a "damnit". It's all because I witnessed my mom plunging the toilet and saying those words. Hehe!

Heather said...

I find this post so funny, because we go through the same thing in our house all the time. Our daughter showed her abilities to use the word "damn" correctly by the time she was four years old. It was used twice as in "that damn dog" and "that damn toy". At this time we had a discussion about words she is not allowed to say. Things like ass, hell, shit, damn and the "f" word. I don't even like to say it often unless I'm really provoked. I knew she heard it, as she has a foul-mouth aunt who doesn't care who she says things in front of. When she was this age, she also started saying "Oh my God!" also said just like a Valley Girl, LOL! We discussed saying "Oh my goodness!" Even today you'll hear me say that even when she's not around, as I had to train myself to say this around her.

The other day this came up again as she was playing with my best friend's 2-year-old daughter who thinks my daugher is God. She does everything my daughter does. So they were running around getting ready for a bath and singing "I like to move it, move it!" and shaking their tailfeathers. For some reason, I was afraid Phoebe would use the word "butt" in front of the little girl and we didn't need that word learned, so on the side I mentioned it that we shouldn't teach her that word. She got it. She's a good kid.

Jennie said...

Oh this is a hilarious topic. I have three little ones, 1,2 and 5. And I have learned that they can take words that I have never even given a second thought to and make them into a "bad" word.

These are a few of the words/phrases among the vast quantities of them that have been banished.

funky buttlover- learned from the disney channel

never- because if I hear it one more time, I will pound myself unconscious

my balls- I'm still trying to find a suitable alternative. Until then, the boys will still run around pretending to fall and yell, OH MY BALLS!

and the latest one after a week long trip to grandma's house...

You mother f*****. This from my easy going laid back two year old. I haven't heard it, but his teacher informed me of it.