I sound hypocritical when I try to explain it. They try to take things into their own hands instead of telling me so I can step in. Yet, I tell them not to tattletale. How in the world am I supposed to tech them the difference when I don't even know the answer myself?
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6 comments:
I've had the same discussion with my husband. I don't want them to tattle, but I want to know if someone is doing something dangerous. It's hard when they're young.
Hope you all feel better soon!
My current (untested) strategy is to make my daughter go back and apologize for telling if it's not something life-threatening. Of course, she usually does the telling in front of the person she's telling on, which makes it a little easier.
My general rule (I have a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl) is that I don't want to hear about it unless what the other is doing is going to hurt you, themselves, or damage/break something.
I got so tired of it one day I said, "unless you are bleeding or on fire, I don't want to hear about it." I break out that line on my students from time to time as well.
I see your dilemma. I'm not sure how I would explain it either. If you find something that works, let me know so that I will know what to do when the boys get older...
We give the tattler the same punishment as the offender. So, minor offenses like toy squabbles and puching end with both kids in time out. This has certainly curbed tattling in our house.
Family Fun magizine suggests the following...
a) a tattle station like a suggestion box. most kids will not take the time to write the complaint.
b) for every tattle, require the tattler to also tell one positive thing about the offender.
c) tape a picture of an ear to the wall and have them "tell it to the ear". most kids just want someone/something to hear baout how they were wronged. (i assume a tattle bear or such would also work)
This is an ongoing issue here too. Just the other day I told them if someone wasn't bleeding or dying, I didn't want to hear it. I got pushed to that point after one of the kids told on the other one for the 18 millionth time.
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