Monday, December 24, 2007

random picture(s) #3

A few of my favorites....

To see the rest of this series ... please go here.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

And then there are days like today

This picture looks like Ella is trying to get a good punch in. And that is what today felt like. All day.
Having children is not all puppy dogs and rainbows and I'm not one to pretend it is. I'm also not one to ignore the bad days and try to just forget them. They are part of my life as a mommy too and deserve their place in this blog.

I don't know how "normal" it is, but I like to preserve the bad times too. I look back at photos of my brothers and sisters and see only smiling faces. Happy times and special occasions. But life isn't made up of all these happy moments. There are a lot of tears, anger, frustration, puke and poop too. I'm the mom who takes pictures of my kids crying. I have videos of my kids in full on tantrum mode. I have audio of my baby screaming in the car whenever we had to stop for a red light.

And I would like to note that although I will take a picture of my child in the midst of a horrible crying jag, I don't think it's right to make children cry. I mention this because I see pictures of crying children with Santa and I think it's cruel to make your child go through a few seconds of being so scared that they scream and cry, just to have a picture that year. Some people even think it's funny and share their "scared of santa" pictures. I personally think that's mean and I would never intentionally terrorize my children. I've gotten into discussions about this before and the moms who don't mind letting this happen to their children always say it's Santa, it's not terrorizing them, but let's just leave it at that is where I disagree. Do what you want with your children, I'll do what I want with mine.

Back to today.

I have the kids home with me while I am working from home this week. I initially wanted them to be able to have a Christmas vacation from school too, but then my foot surgery happened. Although I'm not doing much less than I would have anywho, since I still have to work regardless of the condition my foot is in, it sure is making things tougher. Where I would be able to jump up and make them lunch, I'm having to hobble through it in pain. Nice.

The kids have been simply insane today. The morning was filled with fighting and crying. 3 timeouts when that rarely happens (it's one of the last resorts. My kids are amazingly well behaved and I think it's because they've been disciplined from day one. Not in any kind of harsh way, just in the fact they've never been allowed to get away with anything wrong just because they are children. They didn't get punished for things they didn't understand of course, but I have explained right from wrong since the beginning). A trip to the doctor's at lunchtime. A trip to the grocery store at nap time. Lunch too late. Naptime later. Ella earned a *smack on the butt when I found her playing in her room when she was supposed to be trying to nap.

Nothing huge has happened today, just a lot of little things. And I realize a lot of it was my own fault for getting them off their normal schedule, but life happens. And it's left me frazzled and grumpy.

One thing I will NEVER say to someone struggling with primary IF? "Spend a day with us and you'll be happy you don't have children yet." Even on the worst days, and there has been days like that, I would never ever say that. I do believe children have been, at times, more than I bargained for, but to say that to an IFer is a serious no-no. My god, that used to piss me off more than anything when I was still ttc#1. People bitching about their children when they don't realize I'd give anything to have a life of their "bad days".

Sorry about the lack of substance with a lot of rambling today. Like I said, it's been quite a day.

* note about the smack. I know that spanking is a huge discussion issue between the parenting community. Some don't, some do. We have chosen to use smacks on the butt in certain circumstances - meaning we use it when we mean business. I only mention this because I don't want to get into a debate about spanking. I'm going to go ahead and use the "we'll do what we want with our kids and you do what you want with your kids" thing.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The stories a mother loves to tell.

You know the stories. The story a mother thinks is so cute or funny that they will blab it to anyone who will listen. Well, because I am also an IF sister, I can't just go blabbering these stories because I never know who could be listening. Even if I am telling a fellow mommy, who's to say the person within earshot isn't on yet another cd1?

Well, this is my "I'm not going to worry about it" blog. No "triggers". No "children mentioned" warnings. The mere existence of this blog is to be THAT mom who brags without abandon. And with that comes the stories I think are funny/cute and would honestly have no idea if they actually are stupid and boring. Here is the first installment of I'm sure, many more stories to come.

Story #1 - My baby is married!

Ella and Allison came into the living while I'm convalescing on the couch to tell me something very important. Here was the conversation.

Ella: "Mommy, I got married!"
Me: "You did?"
Ella simply beaming: "I just told you that mommy!"
Me: "Who did you marry?"
Ella: "Just my nightgown."
Me: "You married your nightgown?"
Ella: "No! I am wearing my nightgown you silly goose!"
Me: "Oh, you got married IN your nightgown."
Ella nods.
Me: "WHO did you marry?"
Ella points to Allie.
Me: "You married Allison?"
Ella: "Yup!" and with that acknowledgement, she reached out to her sister, they grabbed a hold of one another and bear hugged eachother.
Me pretty much melting.
Ella: "Allison's my sister." and another hug. Then off they ran to continue playing.

Story #2 - Just like mommy.

Allison is fully into pretend play now and I noticed how she's pretending to be me. These are just silly little things she did, but something about your daughter pretending to be YOU, well, there's nothing better.

The first example was when Allie was walking down the hallway with a really strange walk. I asked her what she was doing and she told me how her foot hurt because she had "Surgee".

The second was later this evening when it got a little quiet back where she was playing. Whenever it gets too quiet, you know you have to go check. I went into her bedroom and asked what she was doing. She answered "I'm working". As I turn the corner of the bunkbed, I see exactly what she is doing. She's sitting on her bed with her little toy laptop opened in front of her and she has her cinderella doll on her lap. As I walk out of the room, I hear her explaining to cinderella just what she is doing with the the computer, explaining the different buttons, etc. Just like I do when I work from home and Allie crawls in my own lap.

Monday, December 17, 2007


We spent the holiday at the inlaws' house this year. Ella got to have her first taste of baking with the ladies (Grandma, Ella & Great Aunt Diane):

After baking, time was spent having fun. Here is Allison painting.

I spent so long curling Ella's hair. It was ~so~ cute, but she didn't care, as long as she could still climb and anything and everything.

It snowed quite a bit over the weekend so the girls went on their first sledding expedition. Except in their case, we used a rope and they got to ride the entire time, not just down the hills.

Allie wasn't really into the sledding part. But she did like the snow.

Ella has a fascination with eating the snow. After explaining how to get the best snow to eat, we share a bite of a snowball.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Random Silent Video #2

Ella was 2 months old here and she just figured out she had a tongue.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Random Silent Video #1

This was with my digital camera, which as no sound. But it's funny to look at anyway. It's Allison rocking out.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

random picture #2

Ella was 5 days old here and I was looking rough. (as bad as I look, this is my very favorite picture of all my pictures with ella.)

Although she was still in what I call the *newborn honeymoon, sleep deprivation of breastfeeding had started and I wasn't yet "used to it". I remember this picture being taken. My boob was leaking (see the spots on the shirt) and I was exhausted. I remember thinking I've never ever felt so tired. In all my years of partying and staying up for days, I never felt like this, because at the end of partying, you could pass out and sleep for 15 hours. And while I was feeling so physically terrible, I was overwhelmed with love. Just look at Ella - completely and totally content sleeping on me while listening to my heart beat.

And THIS is why my heart is breaking for number 3. I just can't get myself to understand I'll never feel this again. When my second was this small, I never was in the "I'll never feel this again" mind frame, because I just knew I would have another. Having an easy time ttc #2 after a taste of IF when ttc #1 put me in a false sense of security. I forgot that it was a crap shoot. I forgot that while most women can have babies and even more babies, some can't and won't. I didn't allow myself to feel that 'this may be the last time' emotions. If #3 never comes to me, I'll have to go through all of it all at once. And these pictures will be very painful for me to look at.

* Newborn Honeymoon: This is when new parents who don't know any better say "oh my god! I have such a good baby. All they do is sleep and only cry when they are hungry!". This is usually what each and every baby announcement email/letter/text/blog says. They think this is truly their new baby's temperament. And while some babies stay like that and are quiet little things and don't cry, that is the rare child. Most babies come out of the honeymoon phase after 1-2 weeks and show just how much they actually cry and scream. Which, in turn, scares the new parents because they already got themselves to believe their baby would stay like they were in the honeymoon phase.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

random picture #1

A series I'll do just when I find a picture I want to share.
Allison, maybe 2 or 3 days old.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

An average Monday night.

Our Monday night started out with the girls finding the most comfortable place in the house to read.

Please tell me when Ella grew from toddler to little girl? Because as far as I know, I just blinked and blammo - kid.

And then a new use for the laundry basket was found. It first started out with simple drops to the knees.

But it blossomed into full on jumping. It looks as if she's sitting on something, doesn't it?

Allison's jumps started out a little less graceful. Face plants.

But soon, she was in the game too, finding the courage to jump straight up too.

Ella with our tortoise, Peter Pan.

As I recover from surgery today, Ella is home with me. Unfortunately it's not to help mommy rest - she has a low grade fever. Low enough she doesn't realize she's sick, but high enough I couldn't send her to school.

I know this may sound a little terrible, but right now, I wish she felt her sickness. When kids are sick, at least when my kids are sick with a fever, all they want to do is lay down on the couch and watch a movie. This kind of behavior would really help me out right now. But since she doesn't even realize she's sick, I'm living the "mom-look-at-this" world every 2 minutes. But of course I don't hope she gets even more sick. I just need a little rest.

note - blogger's formatting when using pictures SUCKS. I'm going to have to go to straight html as I can't stand having to fix all the auto paragraph "formatting" they do! If this post doesn't look straight to you, I apologize. It looks formatted on my screen, which means it probably looks all goofed up to you.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Cell Phone Picture Share #1

I take a lot of silly pictures on my cell phone. These pictures are never of great quality, but I don't want to just throw them away either. So I'm going to start to sharing various cell phone pictures here on occasion.

This is from a birthday party the girls attended a few weeks ago. They did dress up and now it's cupcake decorating time.

This was taken just a few days ago. We made the big switch to big girl panties and Allison couldn't be more excited about it!
This is a funny side effect of kids learning to "say cheese" while yelling SMILE during picture taking sessions. This is Ella's big cheesy grin.

Allison has started the cheesy grin face too. The funniest thing is the kids actually respond with "SAY CHEESE!" while making these great smile faces.


This is obviously my first post of my secondary blog. My first blog, TheNewLifeOfNancy, is my main blog and the place I pour out most of my daily thoughts. The purpose of this blog is for me to blog about what means the most to me, my children.

While I already blog about my children in my main blog, I feel uncomfortable about it. I know my readers probably don't mind I blog about my children, but I still am very aware of the fact it may be hard to read on certain days for everyone.

What I hope to get out of this is twofold. One, I want to be able to post pictures and brag about my children as much as I feel like, without having to worry about hurting anyone's heart. Two, when having a particularly bad day in the IF world, I want to be able to counter it, in my own head, with something positive on this blog.