I wanted to say a tad bit more to explain it to anyone who isn't stuggling with secondary infertility.
I received a comment that was totally understandable from someone who isn't a secondary IFer. And when I re-read my post, I could see how someone who wasn't fighting for a larger family could read it in a different light.
When I say my girls are "not enough", I do ~not~ mean that they don't fill up my heart the very brim everyday. As my children, they are enough. They are simply everything to me. I never ever look at them and think "eh, too bad you don't have a sibling, cause then I'd feel complete." No way! That's definitely not what I'm feeling nor what I meant by "they aren't enough".
They aren't enough to keep me from wanting more. Having these two beautiful little girls makes me want to fill the space even more. But just because I want another child, definitely doesn't mean I love what I have any less. On the contrary. Having 18 more children wouldn't make me love these girls any more or less. They fulfill my life more than I could have every imagined. I am so blessed and so lucky and so incredibly happy that I have these girls. As I type this, I look at their pictures that fill my office space and they make my heart soar.
If I never end up having another, I will only mourn for the child I had yearned for. I will not have to turn to what I have now and say "well, you guys will have to do" because they already are my everything. I simply wanted another one. And these two, perfect little beings, didn't take away my wanting to finish my family.
For anyone out there not struggling with secondary infertility - or for anyone out their not wanting a second (or more) child, please know that our want of another child doesn't mean the child(ren) we have are not enough.
My girls ~ARE~ enough.
They just don't keep me from wanting what I see as a hole in my family. And only in that very specific aspect, they aren't enough to tell my heart I shouldn't want more. I yearn for the next as much as I yearned for my first.