I miss them.

I haven't seen my girls since Saturday morning. 5 1/2 days ago. I miss them so bad. When I turn into daycare to pick the kids up, I always scan the playground to see if one of the girls are outside. They always seem to keep an eye on the cars too, because I usually see one little girl's face light up with the recognition it's me and I hear that word screamed in sheer delight, "MOMMY!!!". But when I turn into the school this week, I quickly remember the girls aren't there. (oh, they are with their grandparents this week.)

So, I'm with Karl this week and its been nice. He's getting a lot of mommy and daddy time and he's loving it. Here are a few pictures I snapped with my phone ...


See how wonderfully chubby he looks shirtless?




Here is the "mama drinks" shirt, although he's just not a crier so I don't actually have to drink because of him!




Tom and I went out to eat at a fabulous pizzeria which makes their own mozzarella, uses only local produce and ingredients and all organic. This was my salad. From top left, going clockwise then middle, Bread, roasted red peppers, white beans, olives, polenta, sun dried tomatoes, goat cheese, shrimp/scallops and goat cheese filled cherry tomatos. Good lord. It was SO good.




Girls come home tomorrow. I can't wait!

I take it back

From my experience, boys are much easier to clean than girls!

When I first thought boys were harder, it's because this whole diaper-penis-thing was new to me. Now that I have gotten used to it, good lord, boys are easy. Even the blowest out of blow outs!

I thought I'd clear that up because I know you all really wanted to know. (~wink~)

camera phone pictures

Due to the lack of updating, here are 3 recent cell phone pictures.

Miss Ella, being shy (good!) in the shower ...



Miss Allison, successfully flying a kite ...



Mister Karl, chillin' w/ tummy time ...

Rollin, rollin, rollin ... (and a thought about missing 'firsts')

There are some things about being a working mother that gets missed. The "worst" are the firsts. Today, when I walked in from work close to 530pm, Ella tells me "Something happened today, but we're not going to tell you because you are going to freak out."

heh. Yeah, she said I was going to "freak out".

Before I'm even able to question it, Tom walks in the room (he is home about an hour before I am) and says "Karl rolled over today!".

Yay! Go Karl!

My mom watches the kids on Mondays (and they are in daycare Tues-Fri) and she had him laying on a blanket on the living room floor. He's been really happy laying on the ground lately - I realized the other day I always had him "in" something, be in a swing, bouncy seat or his little gym. I've been putting him on a blanket to find a very satisfied baby for a very long times. I had seen him rolling on his side, which I got a picture of the other day, but he picked today to do the full back to belly roll-over, complete with propping himself up on his elbows in triumph.

When I said missing his first are the "worst", I said so in quotes because honestly, it doesn't really bother me to have missed it. It's still exciting to me to have him reach a milestone and after all, the next time I see it will still be the first time for ME.

I knew I would be a working mom when I was pregnant with Ella. I didn't know I would actually ~like~ being a working mom until I was bored out of my mind not even half way into maternity leave. Even so, I thought about the aspect of missing a first and before it happened, it broke my heart to think about. It actually took me missing a milestone first to understand it wouldn't be the end of my world. Think about it - even if I was a stay at home mom and I saw a first during the day, my husband would most likely miss it because he'd be working to support us. So while the world of working moms cry about missing particular first, how come the world of working dads isn't calling it an epidemic?

Sure, being there for the very first time is a bonus. But seeing it later that day or even days later is still really exciting. I kind of liken it to knowing the gender before the baby is born. Hearing the "it's a boy!" at the big ultrasound is pretty exciting, right? Do you think it makes the actual birth any less exciting? I mean, does anyone who already knows the gender respond to the doctor pulling an actual ~baby~ out of your body and exclaiming "it's a boy!" with an "eh, yeah, I already know. lame." Of course not. It's still exciting as hell to get that baby boy laid on your chest.

Okay, I understand how some people want that to be a surprise at birth, but not much else pisses me off more than people who judge those who do find out the sex as ruining anything. In fact, I think finding out the gender at the big u/s (or other test) stretches out the excitement. I found out the genders early and I got to live on cloud nine twice - first making all the "it's a boy!" phone calls when we first found out and second, making all the "karl's here!" phone calls after the delivery. Hey, if someone else doesn't want to go this way, fine with me. But don't tell me I've ruined anything about my children's births. And lucky us, we get to bring home a baby in a gender specific outfit to a gender specific nursery. (heh, forgive me, but I ~hate~ gender neutral things! Now, I don't believe boys need to wear blue and girls need to wear pink - I cross the gender rules all the time. But all clothes/decor being yellow and green. Y.U.C.K. Personal opinion of course!)

Three kids asleep.

Ahhhh.

The girls went to bed without incident tonight. And by incident, I mean I didn't have to go in even one time to tell them to stop talking to one another. (which usually escalates and involves threatening something vital to them, like taking their blankie or fish tank away) My girls have always gone to sleep well until lately. Lately? Well, maybe a little longer than lately. They have bunk beds and they talk and play now, so that's the problem. I could put either of them down at night or naptime, alone, and down to sleep they would go. Now they are little partners sisters in crime.

Karl, on the other hand, has been awake for hours now, waking from his late afternoon / early evening nap around seven. He was still seemingly wide awake, but I simply did what I did with the girls. I put him in his crib, said goodnight, and walked out. He cried maybe 3 minutes and then silence. Unlike the girls, he actually likes his mobile (more on that next), and he'll spend some time watching it. And then ~poof~, he's out.

Awesome.

About the mobile. With the girls, I used the matching mobile. You know, the one you can get that matches the 'set' of bedding. The girls ~never~ looked at theirs. Ever. So this time, I got this one:


And he ~loves~ it. Loves it. Well worth the $40 I paid. I highly recommend going out of the matchy-matchy mindset when it comes to buying things to entertain your baby. I mean, seriously - how interesting to babies is watching a mobile that matches their sheets?

Anywho. Time for some wind down time for me and then off to dreamland. Hopefully.

so he's ~not~ gigantic.

Karl's 4th month appointment was yesterday and he weighed in at a mere 13 1/2 lbs, which is the 25th percentile for baby boys. Wow. 75% of baby boys at 4 months are bigger than him. I guess I'm just used to the girls who were smaller?

Anywho, this isn't an exciting post except something for me to remember. He was 25th%tile weight, 50th%tile in height and head.

He's not rolling over yet, but I rarely do tummy time. It pisses him off so why subject a kid to that? blah blah blah it's recommended blah blah blah. Guess what? I didn't do it for the girls either and they both walk upright and can hold their heads up.

What is he doing? Laughing, "talking" and singing with me whenever I sing "you are my sunshine" to him. It's awesome. He's reaching out for toys and grabbing them and sticking them in his mouth. He drools. A lot. No teeth yet (ella had 4 fucking teeth by 3 months old, allie had zero at a year) so i'm not looking for anything to happen but simply knowing it will.

It's actually weird having a 3rd baby, i'm just not "looking" for anything to happen or worrying about it or anything. I just note when something does happen. Poor karl, mommy isn't a neurotic mess over his development.

They can ...

Ella can almost read. When we take the time and sound it out, she can do it.

Ella can be a ridiculous smart ass. I hate it and totally love it.

Allie can do her hair by herself.

Allie can be the biggest asshole to her sister (thinking it's middle child syndrome.)

Karl can sleep through the night (YAY!!!) He doesn't do it every night, but he has.

Karl can hold a toy in his hand and play with it. Cool.

This is a pretty big day.

Today is the anniversary of my embryo transfer. (I blogged a bit about it on my main blog too, which includes a little tribute to the embryos themselves.)

To celebrate the day, I have decided to do a picture tribute (with a video at the end) in which I posted one or two pictures for each month since the big day one year ago. I hope my little trip down memory lane is even a fraction as cool for you as it is for me.


These are The Fab Four. We believe Karl is the top left embryo. (It's weird how I feel about all my little embryos. Although only one stuck, my heart feels each and every one was just as important as the one who is sleeping behind me right now.) ...




I was receiving BFNs through 10dp3dt. On 11dp3dt, I got a BFP on a digital and my beta was a mere 15. The next day, on 12dp3dt, the FRERs started picking it up...




After one hell of a rocky start where I was told my pregnancy was non-viable and ectopic, this is what we saw, along with a tiny little heartbeat, at 7 weeks...




It was the 4th of July and my body was starting to show. I was still in the 'fat' phase, but if you knew I was pregnant, you could tell it was a baby belly. To help people get the idea, I wore a shirt which read "The Future Lies Within"...




August came and went and Labor day brought the balloon festival. It's early in the morning, but we go every year...




I still can't believe my luck. To have two beautiful little girls and expecting another baby. I wonder why I have such terrible medical problems with my body. Maybe it's to "pay" for them. If so, I'm okay with that ...




In September, my best friend in the world (widow of Karl) married one of the greatest guys in the world. I was lucky enough to be a co-maid of honor with another friend of mine (the girl on my left)...




After the wedding and still in Arizona, another great friend of mine (since Jr High!) threw us a "baby shower", which was really a simple BBQ. I didn't expect a shower, especially for a 3rd baby, but the chance to celebrate Karl was so awesome. It was a swimming party and as you can see, I certainly took part in the swimming aspect and wore my suit ...




We already knew the gender of the baby, but at the beginning of October, and at one of my 28 ultrasounds, we got the money shot ...




This is what I looked like from the outside just two days after the ultrasound in the previous photo ...




A month later, at 29w, this is what I looked like ...




And this is what I looked like naked ~wink~ ...




December was already here and one of our friends came over to take some pictures. She's amazing. Here are the girls in their punk rock element ...




There is something about black and white photos that can really change the mood of a photo session. I know I already picked a picture of the girls, but I can't help it ...




Yet another "naked" picture of myself. I was 35 weeks ...




It was Christmas and each year I get a pair of pajamas. I wasn't going to change the tradition of wearing them the next night just because of a big belly ...




It was suddenly January 9th and I was scheduled to go into the hospital to have the version performed. This is when the doctor tries to manually turn the baby around inside my belly, so I could try to deliver vaginally. I was a day away from 38 weeks and was headed to the hospital within minutes of this picture. I would have the baby by the next morning ...




The Version worked and Karl was head down and on his way out. I was fully in massive labor here and managed to smile and look like I was having a good time. I'm actually just 3 hours from delivery here and due to my journaling, I know I was +1 station, 95% effaced and 6cms dilated. I can guarantee I was ~not~ as happy as I look ...




And then he was here ...




I was rushed into surgery minutes later and wasn't there to see my husband hold his son for the first time. But thankfully it was captured on camera ...




When I was out of surgery and through recovery, I was able to introduce Ella and Allison to their brand new brother ...




We got him home and tried to settle in. We pretended these little newborn smiles were 'real' smiles, but we knew better. But so what! They sure are funny nonetheless ...




Without blinking, he was already a month old. Breathe in. Breathe out ...




When you catch an expression like this on camera, it's pure gold ...




At 3 months old, he is still spending a lot of time sleeping. We know it won't last ...




It's now the beginning of April and he can chill in his bumbo seat. How in the world is time going by so fast? ...




Three months old and bath time = camera time ...




I just took this picture this evening and he is 5 days away from being 4 months old, although as an embryo, he was transferred into my belly exactly 1 year ago. I know it's a cliche, but it's true - the days are slow but the years are fast. Happy Cinco de Mayo my baby boy ...




~*~*~*~


This video was taken last month and it's got to be one of my favorite videos ever. It's just a video of me lulling my little one to sleep, as he starts out completely awake and a little over a minute later, he's sound asleep. The quality is low due to the lighting, but it doesn't matter to me. And maybe this will be boring as watching grass grow to everyone else, but I can watch it over and over.




~*~*~*~

If you got this far (wow!), thank you for taking the journey of this last year with me!