Monday, May 18, 2009

Rollin, rollin, rollin ... (and a thought about missing 'firsts')

There are some things about being a working mother that gets missed. The "worst" are the firsts. Today, when I walked in from work close to 530pm, Ella tells me "Something happened today, but we're not going to tell you because you are going to freak out."

heh. Yeah, she said I was going to "freak out".

Before I'm even able to question it, Tom walks in the room (he is home about an hour before I am) and says "Karl rolled over today!".

Yay! Go Karl!

My mom watches the kids on Mondays (and they are in daycare Tues-Fri) and she had him laying on a blanket on the living room floor. He's been really happy laying on the ground lately - I realized the other day I always had him "in" something, be in a swing, bouncy seat or his little gym. I've been putting him on a blanket to find a very satisfied baby for a very long times. I had seen him rolling on his side, which I got a picture of the other day, but he picked today to do the full back to belly roll-over, complete with propping himself up on his elbows in triumph.

When I said missing his first are the "worst", I said so in quotes because honestly, it doesn't really bother me to have missed it. It's still exciting to me to have him reach a milestone and after all, the next time I see it will still be the first time for ME.

I knew I would be a working mom when I was pregnant with Ella. I didn't know I would actually ~like~ being a working mom until I was bored out of my mind not even half way into maternity leave. Even so, I thought about the aspect of missing a first and before it happened, it broke my heart to think about. It actually took me missing a milestone first to understand it wouldn't be the end of my world. Think about it - even if I was a stay at home mom and I saw a first during the day, my husband would most likely miss it because he'd be working to support us. So while the world of working moms cry about missing particular first, how come the world of working dads isn't calling it an epidemic?

Sure, being there for the very first time is a bonus. But seeing it later that day or even days later is still really exciting. I kind of liken it to knowing the gender before the baby is born. Hearing the "it's a boy!" at the big ultrasound is pretty exciting, right? Do you think it makes the actual birth any less exciting? I mean, does anyone who already knows the gender respond to the doctor pulling an actual ~baby~ out of your body and exclaiming "it's a boy!" with an "eh, yeah, I already know. lame." Of course not. It's still exciting as hell to get that baby boy laid on your chest.

Okay, I understand how some people want that to be a surprise at birth, but not much else pisses me off more than people who judge those who do find out the sex as ruining anything. In fact, I think finding out the gender at the big u/s (or other test) stretches out the excitement. I found out the genders early and I got to live on cloud nine twice - first making all the "it's a boy!" phone calls when we first found out and second, making all the "karl's here!" phone calls after the delivery. Hey, if someone else doesn't want to go this way, fine with me. But don't tell me I've ruined anything about my children's births. And lucky us, we get to bring home a baby in a gender specific outfit to a gender specific nursery. (heh, forgive me, but I ~hate~ gender neutral things! Now, I don't believe boys need to wear blue and girls need to wear pink - I cross the gender rules all the time. But all clothes/decor being yellow and green. Y.U.C.K. Personal opinion of course!)

17 comments:

Jenera said...

Can't believe he is rolling already!

My hubby misses just about all the 'firsts' seeing as how he is gone all the time. But he still gets excited when he sees it for the first time, like you said. There is so much in life that we get to experience with these kids, that missing something once or twice isn't a big deal.

Morgan said...

YAY for Karl!! :)

The Captain's Wife said...

Yeay!!!!! Nancy's back!

Great job on Karl rolling! And I am in total agreement about the "the first time I see it, it'll be a first" mentality. Am I supposed to follow my daughter around her entire life to personally witness all her firsts?

Kristin said...

Woohooo...way to go Karl! I think you have a great outlook on things.

Steph said...

It's exciting for me as a sahm to see the 'firsts' but to be completely honest, it is MORE exciting and special when my husband comes home and we share that moment together, as HE watches the baby learn to roll over, clap his hands, yell DaDa...


Knowing this little person we created has reached a milestone and we're sharing that moment together...wow. There are ~no~ words for that.

:)


Steph
stephs_3_kidz

Birdee said...

I replied on my blog.

"Congrats Baby Karl!!"

Jen said...

Yay for rolling! I'm completely with you. Missing the "firsts" really hasn't bothered me at all.

the mol said...

I definitely missed a few things when I was at work and my husband was home. It was still exciting to hear about and to wonder when he'd do it next!

areyoukiddingme said...

Go Karl! Start rolling across that floor - there's nothing better than being mobile!

I had the best of both worlds - a year of part time during my daughter's first year. I didn't miss her firsts, but my husband started working out of state when she was 7 months old. He missed a lot - some of it was OK for him (i.e. the teething), but I think it made him sad to have to catch up. Daily, it's not so tough, though.

Hollie said...

Great that he is rolling! Chesley has sort of rolled a couple of times. Mostly by accident though. I feel you on missing "firsts" but it really doesn't bother me because, like you said, you still get to see it.

jenn said...

Go Karl!! I am working through the feelings now as I approach going back to work. I am very happy that the hub will get to stay home & see those 'firsts' and I can come home & hear about them from him. It's good to hear you say this about not feeling like you are missing out- it gives me another perspective to look at it from!

Beautiful Mess said...

WOOOHOOO!!!! Way to go Karl! Great post, I agree about "missing" firsts. It's exciting to know it happened and you're waiting for YOU to see it for yourself!
I'd like to second what The Captain's Wife said!

Heather said...

I'm there with you. I've worked since our 8 year old daughter was 3 months old and I've never regretted it. She's had lots of firsts at day care, preschool and now elementary school. But I love hearing about it and seeing it for the first time myself. I'll definitely go back to work after we have "the boys" and I'm sure I'll be happy to go back to work at that point. But right now, I can't wait for maternity leave. Work has been so busy, I need a break.

April said...

Since I have no personal experience yet I can't really say how I'll feel. I will be going back to work after my 12 week maternity leave and while I *think* I might feel sad to miss baby Hunter's "Firsts", maybe like you said it won't be so bad...becuz I WILL still get to see him do these things. And my Mom will be watching him so that kinda softens the "blow" a bit too...I know how excited Nana will be to witness those firsts. ;-)

And THANK YOU...I DID get some judgement from people asking why I just "couldn't wait till baby is born" to find out gender. It was MINE And mY HUBBY'S personal decision to want to know and it frustrates me to no end that people can't just accept that! No matter WHAT our reasoning is!

Ella said...

Thanks for that last part, it gave me some good lines to use with all the annoying people IRL who are giving us their "thoughts" about finding out the sex at our next u/s. It's getting really OLD! It's a surprise BOTH ways, why don't some people get that?

Jennifer said...

Go Karl!

On the firsts...
Abby's 1st baby sitter (3 months - 1 year) told me everything that she did. She'd be so excited and tell me the new things (some weren't actually knew) she was doing for the first time. I started resent her because she got to see it first. I was okay with Grandma or Daddy seeing something 1st, but not so much on the babysitter.

Her baby sitter this school year (12-19 months) doesn't give me every little detail. She just tells me what I need to know unless I ask. I think I like it better this way. If she does something for the first time there, I don't know about it until I see it for the first time.

Ignorance is bliss when it comes to knowing every little detail I missed while at work. :)

MrsSpock said...

I don't mind missing "firsts". Hell, I stayed home with Jonah for 7 months, and missed him standing up and rolling for the first time, because he always would figure out how to do things the minutes I ran to the bathroom.