Friday, April 18, 2008

Elusive sleep.

I miss sleep. The kind of sleep you sleep ~before~ you have kids.

I find it hilarious when big pregnant girls complain about not sleeping through the night anymore due to aches and pains or having to pee. I'll admit, I was like this with my first pregnancy too, but now I know. I know that even that horrid 3rd trimester sleep was the best sleep I'll have for years.

Being a mom, I've had to give up my sleep time. I thought it was just until the baby slept through the night, but it wasn't. I wake up at everything now. I used to be such a sound sleeper but now the wind blows and my mom brain wakes up. It's really, really, really annoying. I'm such a different person now and I know much of it revolves around my lack of true sleep.

Tom and I take turns sleeping "in" on the weekends. On our turn to sleep, we deem it successful if we sleep past 8. A handful of times I've slept to 9 and thought I was in princess sleep land. A few weeks ago, I slept until 930a. Unheard of.

This morning, Allison came in and woke me up at 5am. I told her it was ~way~ too early to wake up. As I tried to get back to sleep, I heard her shuffling around. She finally fell back asleep, but I didn't. Just as I think I was about to, being in that soft dreamy place, she came in again as the sun hit the horizon. That was 6:20am. Still not time yet hun. She protested, telling me the sun was awake already, so she should be awake too. Back to bed I sent her and I spent the next 40 minutes laying there pissed off that I was awake. Right at 7am, both kids came running out in there childhood exuberance and told me the big hand was finally at the top. (I've got a rule about no getting up before 7am, which unfortunately, they follow.)

I think about my trying for another baby and think of all the sleepless nights ahead of me. But then again, I don't see the difference. Even if I sleep now, it's not soundly. I was amazed how I wasn't effected so drastically over sleep deprivation when Allison was born. I had been sleeping through the night since Ella was just a few months old, but again, it wasn't a sound sleep.

I wonder how long it will be until I actually sleep again. Will it ever happen?


Life With Jack said...

Oooohhh...I miss my sleep too. :( We were up at 5 am today - which makes for a grouchy mommy. My mom has said that I'll never sleep soundly'll always be more sensitive to noises and always thinking about your babies. Bummer.

Katie's Mommy said...

My boyfriend and I were just talking about how much we miss sleep the other day. Nice to know we're not the only tired ones! :)

Sarah R said...

Oh, I know what you mean about complainers. I want to say to them, "look at the prize you have! You are so lucky to have something wake you up!" I totally knew, before becoming a mom, that I would sleep less. People must've really tried to scare me though, because it was not as scary as I thought. In the beginning, Andrew would wake up every 2 hours to nurse. His "bedtime" was 2 am, as he slept more during the day then. Somehow, a mother's body adjusts and I could run on very little sleep. I was just so excited about everything that when I heard him stirring and stretching I was eagerly awaiting to hold him again.

I really miss those newborn days!