Friday, April 18, 2008

Elusive sleep.

I miss sleep. The kind of sleep you sleep ~before~ you have kids.

I find it hilarious when big pregnant girls complain about not sleeping through the night anymore due to aches and pains or having to pee. I'll admit, I was like this with my first pregnancy too, but now I know. I know that even that horrid 3rd trimester sleep was the best sleep I'll have for years.

Being a mom, I've had to give up my sleep time. I thought it was just until the baby slept through the night, but it wasn't. I wake up at everything now. I used to be such a sound sleeper but now the wind blows and my mom brain wakes up. It's really, really, really annoying. I'm such a different person now and I know much of it revolves around my lack of true sleep.

Tom and I take turns sleeping "in" on the weekends. On our turn to sleep, we deem it successful if we sleep past 8. A handful of times I've slept to 9 and thought I was in princess sleep land. A few weeks ago, I slept until 930a. Unheard of.

This morning, Allison came in and woke me up at 5am. I told her it was ~way~ too early to wake up. As I tried to get back to sleep, I heard her shuffling around. She finally fell back asleep, but I didn't. Just as I think I was about to, being in that soft dreamy place, she came in again as the sun hit the horizon. That was 6:20am. Still not time yet hun. She protested, telling me the sun was awake already, so she should be awake too. Back to bed I sent her and I spent the next 40 minutes laying there pissed off that I was awake. Right at 7am, both kids came running out in there childhood exuberance and told me the big hand was finally at the top. (I've got a rule about no getting up before 7am, which unfortunately, they follow.)

I think about my trying for another baby and think of all the sleepless nights ahead of me. But then again, I don't see the difference. Even if I sleep now, it's not soundly. I was amazed how I wasn't effected so drastically over sleep deprivation when Allison was born. I had been sleeping through the night since Ella was just a few months old, but again, it wasn't a sound sleep.

I wonder how long it will be until I actually sleep again. Will it ever happen?

3 comments:

Life With Jack said...

Oooohhh...I miss my sleep too. :( We were up at 5 am today - which makes for a grouchy mommy. My mom has said that I'll never sleep soundly again...you'll always be more sensitive to noises and always thinking about your babies. Bummer.

Katie's Mommy said...

My boyfriend and I were just talking about how much we miss sleep the other day. Nice to know we're not the only tired ones! :)

Sarah R said...

Oh, I know what you mean about complainers. I want to say to them, "look at the prize you have! You are so lucky to have something wake you up!" I totally knew, before becoming a mom, that I would sleep less. People must've really tried to scare me though, because it was not as scary as I thought. In the beginning, Andrew would wake up every 2 hours to nurse. His "bedtime" was 2 am, as he slept more during the day then. Somehow, a mother's body adjusts and I could run on very little sleep. I was just so excited about everything that when I heard him stirring and stretching I was eagerly awaiting to hold him again.

I really miss those newborn days!