Sunday, March 1, 2009

What a jerk I am.

I love my son. I love love love I have a boy. I love it.

I love that he will be a momma's boy (but not in the extreme way my husband is with his mom. That sucks. I will not fuck up the life of his future girlfriends/wife). I love that when I think of my girls dating, I have no problems with in - in fact, I'm excited for them. I love that when I think of my boy dating, it pisses me off.

But do you know what? I'm insanely jealous when I see someone with 3 girls. I had thought I'd have another girl ever since we saw the money shot with Allison at 20 weeks. And now I have 2 girls and a boy. And I'm jealous.

That makes me feel like shit.

15 comments:

Erica said...

And yet the are probably jealous of you. We always want what we don't have.. don't we?

MrsSpock said...

I know having a girl is important to so many, but I love my boy so much I almost think I'd be disappointed to have a girl. How rotten, eh?

the mol said...

If we have a third child, I think I want another boy. I love my son, I love that I am having another boy, and I think I can understand how you feel. I'd love a daughter of course but I'd probably get jealous just like you describe.

Swinette said...

Nah, you're not a jerk. When I was pg with my daughter, I wanted another boy like nothing else. When I had the u/s and found out it was a girl, I started to cry, and not tears of joy. To compound that, we were told by the tech that the dr would be a while coming in b/c there was another couple in having an u/s and there was something wrong with their baby. So there I was, crying over not getting what I wanted, and some other couple was getting possibly horrible news. Made me feel like shit to be upset over not having a girl. And now she's been here for almost a year now and I love her to death, and can't imagine life without her. No, you're not a jerk, you're just human.

Jenera said...

When I look at a cousin's terribly cute daughter, I want to steal her and raise her as mine. I'm jealous of those who are having girls. And the mom to the cute daughter is having another and is PISSED about it and being a selfish brat. I was disappointed when we found out Sam was a Sam and vainly hoped they were wrong. But I love him just as much as Aidan. I think this just means that my hubby will stay out of prison since we won't have girls. now it will be me trying to avoid prison 'cuz I know I'm going to hate every little ho bag my boys bring home.

Joe said...

I'm going to reveal a weird secret, I'm jealous that you have 2 girls close in age, and when you said you believed you were having another girl ,I got even more jealous, whenever I see someone with multiple girls I get jealous. When someone says their pregnant I only get jealous if their having a girl, sick I know, but I cant explain it.

Heather said...

Well as a mom to two girls and another girl on the way, I can understand your feelings. I think we always want the opposite of what we have. I was truly convinced this was a boy. I would have bet money on it. When we found out it was a girl part of me was a bit disappointed in that appointment. It took me a few days to gave it sink in and now I couldn't be happier. I do feel special to have 3 daughters. But part of me just wanted that boy. Crazy. The grass is always greener I guess. U r not a jerk. I think it is normal to feel that way.
Heather

Sarah R said...

Heather, you and Nancy just need to arrange a trade....

TOTALLY KIDDING!!!! :D

Heather said...

I know Sarah!!!! hahahahaha. When I found out she was having a boy, I thought I would have one too! Too funny!
Heather

Morgan said...

ahh.. don't beat yourself up over it! Now maybe if you flat out said "i wish I never had Karl and had a girl instead" then you would be a jerk! But I know you don't feel that way at all! Jealousy is such a natural thing, I admit it- sometimes I'm jealous of you because you are just so fucking cool. Anyways, I agree with Erica though...we always want what we don't have!

KatieM said...

Ya know it's funny, because I am with Mrs.Spock on this one....I wonder what I will think if I ever have a girl because right now I love having my boy so much I almost can't picture my life with pink, lol .

Maybe it all boils down to what our first is, ya know? Our first baby, boy or girl, is our first experience with this intense mommy love, and maybe there is a gender association with that love, especially if baby number two is the same sex. Not that we (as in all moms in general) don't love all our children regardless of gender, but there is a special "gender bond" with the first.

Amanda said...

You're not a jerk. I almost had panic attacks I was so worked up that I'd have two girls. Then, after I found out it was two boys I cried because I wouldn't be giving my husband a "Daddy's girl". Want what you can't have I guess.

(The thought of multiple girls terrifies me)

Steph said...

My husband wanted our first to be a girl--it was a boy! Then he wanted our second to be a boy--and it was a girl. He actually acted really ticked that we were having a girl, and I got mad--he later told me it was because he was afraid he wouldn't know how to take care of her like he did Zack.

I think we always want what we ~know~. I like what Morgan said. It's not like you wish you never had Karl, just that you wonder what it'd be like to have 3 girls.

:)


I will be the first to admit, having a boy and then 2 girls, I was desperate for another boy when I had my 4th (which he was!). I wouldn't have been ~upst~ if I'd had another girl, I LOVE my girls, I just always wanted another baby boy. If he'd have been a girl, I'd have loved him (her?? lol) just the same. Just as you do Karl. :)

Steph
stephs_3_kidz

Seriously? - Erin said...

When I go shopping for clothes I jealous of those who get to buy cute girl things. But, I am really excited to have a boy now (that whole boys love their moms thing and all).

My husband is weirdly attached to his mom too, lets see if we can avoid that. BTW added the motherhood blog to my reader now!

Kaci said...

You love him so you're not a jerk.