Friday, August 20, 2010

Babysitters and daycare.

I know some women who have never left their children with a babysitter. What do you think about this?

In my humble opinion, I think its good for a child to learn to be without their parents every now and again. I also think it is good for mommy and daddy to spend some time alone sans baby.

Daycare is also something I think is wonderful for the child. I've never had separation anxiety with any of my children and I think having babysitters and daycare played a big role in this. My kids learned that sometimes mommy and daddy leave but we always come back.

Some people are so against daycare and I just don't get it. Being around other kids is so good for them. The socialization aspect is huge in itself. And it also builds up their immune systems.

I see some kindergarteners totally freak out each morning when they are dropped off. And these are the same parents who leave with tears in their eyes. I bet dollars to donuts these kids stayed home with mommy and daddy for their first five years of life. I feel proud when my daughters give me a kiss goodbye and them run into their classrooms to start their day.

I think staying with you child(ren) 24/7 is actually doing a disservice to them. Totally my opinion of course!

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jenn said...

I have to say that I agree and disagree. Caiden's home with Daddy 24/7- that is almost entirely due to the financial aspect though. Now that we have done 16 months of it- I can definitely see her needing more time with other kids. She does have a whole neighborhood full that she plays with nearly every day- well- as much as a toddler really plays with anyone else! But I think with my upcoming change in circumstances once we clear a few lingering debts we will be enrolling her in some sort of daycare- even if it's just a few days or part time. I think it's super important for her to be well socialized- especially since we don't know if there will be siblings in the future.
That said- I think you can be a sahp and still raise a well adjusted, socialized & happy kid- but it is tough and takes a lot of work and research.
One thing I do not want is the clingy unhappy kindergartener! Of course- she ~is~ especially clingy these days, but I am hoping it's just a phase!

MommyP said...

I wholeheartedly agree! Even though I'm a SAHM, Stephen still goes off to preschool 4 mornings a week (although that is to deal with his speech delay), and goes to Mother's Day Out on Fridays. He has never once cried when I left him there, unlike many of the other kiddos.

As for babysitters... we have left him with other people, but usually it's just grandparents. It's hard enough to find someone you trust to watch your kids, but when it's a kid who can't communicate his needs, it's even more stressful. But he doesn't really stress about being left with someone else, and you are right - it IS good for parents to get away!

Jen said...

It seems like I'm seeing more and more moms who cannot leave their babies and even toddlers for any length of time at all. Not even with their dads. We all need time off and it is important to children to get used to not being with you. My girls haven't been in day care but only because I have a SAHD situation and then if he goes back to work my MIL watches them. They have also spent time at my dad's house but never with sitters that are not family. I think any arrangement is good as long as mom gets some time away from the kids and they start to learn social skills in settings away from their parents prior to going to school.

Erin said...

I very rarely use a sitter that isn't my mother, my MIL or SIL. On the rare occasions I due it is never more than a few hours. That is partially due to comfort level and cost.

I also don't do daycare, I always thought I would but I just found when I was pregnant I wasn't comfortable with it. I was raised with a SAHM but going to preschool from the time I was 2 1/2 a few days a week. The same will be for my little man but I hope not to have to use daycare. If I do, it will only be two or three days a week at most.

We socialize at story time, gymnastics, and with play dates, it seems to be working out well. I think everyone has to figure out what is best for them. For me it just isn't daycare or sitters.

Robin said...

I think, absolutely, kids should go to a preschool or a babysitter at least some time. They need to have the chance to be exposed to other people, kids and adults. Some people who are stay at home moms are awesome at it, but it might be good to still have their kids go to preschool a morning a week or so. Then there are stay at home moms who suck at it (like my neighbor who does nothing with her kids and talks on the phone all day while the house falls apart around her and the kids scream). She needs to have her kids go somewhere else... Just staying home isn't good enough, you know?

Cate said...

I agree. We were lucky enough to keep Lex home with us for most of the part for the first year of his life but he spent many days playing with his grandparents before starting daycare.

Lex does cry sometimes when I drop him off at daycare and while it pulls at my heart I know interacting with other kids is good for him. The last few days he has taken off into his classroom without looking back and it's wonderful. I hope this means when he starts his 3-k in October (special needs classes) he'll hop on the bus and go without a worry. Mommy will still have a hard first few days but I think I'll manage.

mommybird said...

I guess I'm in between on this one. I like attachment parenting and I do it for the most part. I really don't think it has anything to do with daycare. I think it is more of an individual child thing. Each child will react their own way. My kids have been with my pretty much 24/7 since birth and they love to go to nursery and Sunday school without me and they have spent the night with grandparent's before. They are very social, just like their daddy. DS even punched my husband in the face his first day in nursery at church because he didn't put him down fast enough.

I hate daycare, I've seen way too much and heard of way too much crap to feel comfortable taking my kids to a daycare. I'm glad they are there for those that need them, but it is very difficult to find a really great one.

I was taken to a babysitter full time from 7 weeks on. I was the kids who cried and cried on my first day of school and could barely make it through a sleep over at a friend's house. It was just who I was.

dianam17 said...

I agree with you! where is the like button for this post!

my son has been going to daycare since he was 8 weeks old. i HAD to go back to work for finanical reasons. when i first went back to work, he went M-F from 9:30-2:30... as he has gotten older i have added more hours on. He loves school. he loves his routine. Even if i didnt have to work, he would still go to school. and yes i call it SCHOOL, not daycare. i was actually a teacher at the same preschool he goes to now- i loved every minute of it until i had real bills to pay and couldnt afford to be paid that low of a wage. i had to get a 4 year college degree to do that job. i think its a shame that people think of it as babysitting. in our state, each lead teacher either has to be certified or hold a degree. those teachers get ZERO respect from a lot of parents and its a damn shame. those ladies work real hard and do a lot more than what is asked of them. they do not raise my son (god, i love that argument) they teach him concepts and socialization. they love him a lot more than some would think. also, my son has been sick 3 times in 18 months (and he only had breastmilk for ~5 months), two of those times were ear infections. can you tell that this argument gets me fired up?!

as far as babysitters, we luckily live near family and they are always "fighting" over who can watch him. so i have never had to 'hire' a sitter, but yes we leave him. at least once a month for a date. the most we have left him is with either my mom or SIL and i think it was for 3 nights when we went out of town for a wedding. i think we should do more date nights, but my hub works weekends and its tough just getting to see him sometimes, let alone plan a date.